rant: mandatory calorie listings

Several years ago the state of New York implemented a policy that would require all fast-food chains to list the calories contained in every item on the menu. However, while mandatory calorie counts are having an effect, it isn’t necessarily the one the legislators may have hoped for. On my routine visits to Starbucks for my usual skinny latte I find myself in line among plenty of saddlebags and muffin tops who still order what obesity watchdog Meme Roth referred to in an Elle interview as “milkshakes” drenched in syrup and capped off with mounds of whipped cream. Ironically, I find my size-4 self scrutinizing everything on the menu and in the display, mentally attempting to calculate what would and wouldn’t safely fit with the rest of the day’s consumption. At 5 foot 7 with a 27-inch waist, it would seem that someone like me should be the last person agonizing over how many calories are in a slab of reduced-fat cinnamon swirl cake (more than you think). As what I’ve witnessed from the corner of my eye proves, however, I’m evidently not stranded alone in a sea of chocolate syrup. Curious as to whether I just might be hallucinating, I’ve started taking note of who orders what. It seems that those obviously in need of shedding some poundage are sticking to their creamy Frap blends and caramel macchiatos while in-shape customers generally veer toward slimmer options. This can lead to only one conclusion that should have been obvious to these bonehead legislators to begin with: people are going to choose for themselves regardless of the numbers glaring down at them from behind the counter. And their diet poilicing isn’t necessarily hitting the right targets. It may just be a personal hangup, but even as a reasonably slim person with an active lifestyle, being faced with cold hard numbers on a menu sends me into a panic. Nearly everything is suddenly off-limits. Facing the three digits to the right, I immediately switch into how-many-minutes-of-what-do-I-need-to-burn-this-off mode. Maybe some of this is residual instinct from the calorie-slashing I inflicted on myself for the six months I wasn’t medically allowed to exercise because of significant head and neck trauma. Which is healthy to a degree, especially since I often relapse. But obsessive pondering of caloric consequences benefits no one, from those already at a healthy weight who may unintentionally end up hovering just above underweight due to fear of flab to those whose weight-loss ambitions collapse because of all the frustration brought on by number-crunching. My point: losing weight is hard enough. I have an aunt who has been fighting the battle of the bulge for years but just can’t resist the siren song of all-you-can-eat buffets. The last thing someone between a rock and a hard candy (er, place) needs is state legislators monitoring what doctors and family members are already keeping tabs on round the clock. Having the added burden of numbers being flashed in your face wherever you go in public, far from being encouraging, may more readily turn losing weight into a losing battle. Many chains, including Starbucks, offer online nutrition information, which can help consumers calmly sort out their choices in private instead of publicly causing a nervous breakdown. Ultimately, while the obesity epidemic is a national and even global concern, precise calorie-counting should be left to the individual and not the government. Don’t get me wrong, despite its 300-some-odd calories I swear I’ll get around to trying a truffle espresso one day—but I’ll have it for dessert rather than with.